Top Ten Tuesday: Ten Clues that Your Life has been Overrun by a Toddler

There’s no question. My life has completely turned upside down and inside out since having a little one in the house. During my “pre-mommy” days, I could wake up whenever I wanted, buy whatever I wanted (within reason), wear whatever I wanted, and take plenty of time for myself. Now, let’s just say, things are different. I have much less sleep, money, or free time. I’m not complaining. I’m just stating the facts.

I still have some single, childless friends who don’t get it. “What do you do all day?” one of my friends asked naively when she found out I resigned from my full-time job to stay at home with my son. She, like so many other singletons, imagined me watching Dr. Phil all day while stuffing Bon Bons in my mouth--(remember those?) Not quite. She may never understand the true meaning of motherhood until she’s placed in our position one day. For the rest of us who know what it is, this top ten list is for you. Enjoy.

10. You’re constantly relying on Febreze and Glade Candles to cover up the “poopy smell” in your house.

9. Every time you open up the car door, you leave a trail of Cheerios behind you.

8. Both your short term and long term memory are fried. On dome days, you literally have to do the math in your head to remember how old you are.

7. You start whistling “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” or “The Alphabet Song” while working at the office. (Have you ever noticed that these two songs, along with "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep," have the same melody?)

6. Your shopping spree at Macy’s has now been replaced with a big day out to the local Freecycle, Goodwill, and consignment stores in your area.

5. Getting “primped up” means showering and putting on deodorant.

4. You’ve discovered that talking to yourself aloud, either at home or in public, helps curb the ‘Momnesia.’ “Hmmm, do I need to buy lettuce and tomatoes today? What do I have in the fridge at home?”

3. You secretly start recording episodes of Max and Ruby and SpongeBob SquarePants because you want to see them.

2. When hosting a dinner party, you catch yourself cutting up tiny, bite-sized pieces for your guests.

1. Every article of clothing in your closet has a “mystery stain” on it.

I have one more special bonus up my sleeve:
Wooing and foreplay has been reduced to Daddy helping out with the kids. If Daddy did, then he’s so getting some, and if he didn’t, well…better luck next time.