Playdates

2.02.2011

It's this time of year that I can really appreciate a playdate--you know, when toddlers are expected to play with their little friends while mommies can finally get a break.  In my opinion, playdates are a "win-win".  Little Lewie has someone new to play with besides Mommy and if the playdate is at someone else's house, he gets to revel in the excitement of playing with a whole new set of toys.  For me, well I get all giddy to have an adult conversation with another mom while getting to kick my feet back a little. 

Another thing I enjoy about playdates, rightly or wrongly, is the little window I get to see of how other mothers do it--you know, the whole discipline and child rearing thing.  For example, I have one friend who let's her child do anything; jump on couches--no problem, throw toys or smash into them--no problem.  Meanwhile, when my little boy tries to do the same thing, he gets scolded.  Sometimes his little friend even has to watch as Little Lewie is placed into time-out for disobeying Mommy's orders.  Do my friend or I ever criticize each other?  Never.  I may think she's being a little too easy, and she may think I'm a little too harsh, but it's the secret code between mothers to butt out of each other's business.  Perhaps her husband is later told about what a witch I am to my kid, but that's for another discussion.

I have another friend who seems to have the whole child rearing thing down to a perfect science.  Her son is a quick learner with an amazing vocabulary, and he listens to his parents.  He seems like this perfect little angel with his "please" and "thank you's", but his mother insists that he can be defiant at home.  Her seemingly perfect son puts a little stress on our playdates.  Since he is so well behaved, I try to have Little Lewie emulate the same behavior, and as a result, I find myself trying to correct him (and blushing at the same time) as he tries to take the other little boy's toy, declaring "Mine!" or as he starts screeching at the top of his lungs because I won't let him run around their house and possibly break an expensive item.

Another difference I learn about when we are on playdates are eating habits.  One friend only feeds her son organic; another likes to feed her kids McDonald's and Taco Bell.  One friend lets her child graze all day because she says he can't sit still at the table.  Another insists that every meal at home be a sit down dinner in the dining room.  If we're at home, Little Lewie knows that I still like to place him in his highchair to eat.  If we're at someone else's house, I usually have him sit at the table, knowing that he can't bring food with him into another room. 

Finally, another difference comes to schedules.  I have some friends that are driven by schedules and if the playdate is going to interfere with nap time or anything else, it has to be rescheduled.  Still I have other friends that are very laid back with scheduling and even parent involvement.  They tend to be the ones that come over my house and still want to stay even after I've put Little Lewie down for his nap.

Yes, as mothers, we all have our differences in child rearing...sometimes it's because we were raised differently, sometimes it's because we read different books and opinions on the topic, and sometimes it's just because we have different children.  (My little boy happens to be very different from most of his little friends because he tends to want to be the "class clown" by always entertaining and saying silly things to be noticed.  For instance, all day today he got a kick out of calling me "Daddy."  Go figure!)

All I know is whether my friend is a type "A" parent or a type "B" parent, whether she teaches the Montessori method or the "boys with be boys" method, I look forward to our playdates for the new experiences (and the little bit of relaxation) that they bring.

My buddy and me at our last "super playdate".

19 comments:

  1. What a great philosophy. Too many people stress over whatever everyone else is doing. Like you said that is what works for them. Just enjoy the playdate.
    My 11 year old yells at me when I call them playdates now. She just wants to hang out.

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  2. What an adoarble picture of you and your son!

    You are so wise to appreciate the parenting differences for what they are...just different parenting styles. No one style is better than the other.

    This is where the little ones will learn how to interact with their peers...have fun :)

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  3. Annette, I love the picture of you and Lewie!! It was so sweet to get to see you and he, side by side!
    I totally understand your love and desire for playdates. For me, it's a way to break up the monotony of just me and Georgia together all day by ourselves. I love watching her interact with people besides me, especially with her peers. And it doesn't hurt to get to socialize with other moms.
    You're right that it's important to butt out of how parents discipline and raise their kids. In the end, everyone's just trying to do the best they can with their kiddo's personality.
    Love this post today!

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  4. Hi! Thanks for following my blog. The pic of me and my son is a few years old as he is 5 now! My husband always discuss others parenting styles and I am sure that people think that we are too harsh on my son. We think that if we can correct the behavior now we won't have a problem when he is older. Enjoy the playdates and enjoy your son. They are truly a blessing.

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  5. Hey there! I found you from the Swap Follower party over at Homemaker on a Dime. I live for Playdates and the fun and de-stressing they bring! Stay warm... your previous posts look like it's freezing there! Burrr!

    -Jordan

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  6. That is an AWESOME picture of you two, Annette! I love it. I love play dates too, for all the reasons you mention. I only wish we had more of them!!

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  7. Thanks for following my blog, I am a new follower of yours too. Your little guy is such a cutie!

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  8. Your blog is amazing! You've done a great job!

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  9. Hi, Annette! You and your son look so cute :) Thanks for linking up with our party. Hope you'll join us again next week.

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  10. what a cute post and picture of the two of you :) Look SO much alike! Yea, I agree...I like to see the different parenting styles of my friends both old and new! Its interesting to me! Some I find VERY strange and others are just like ME...so its fun to explore and compare the styles together at playdates, we love those too!!!!

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  11. I'm here from the follower swap and am your newest follower! I've nominated you for the Stylish Blogger Award!

    http://lifecraftsandwhatever.blogspot.com/2011/02/stylish-blogger-award-and-beg-for-votes.html

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  12. You are right about seeing different parenting styles when on a playdate. I can't wait for spring! Having friends over is great! I gave you two awards! You deserve them my friend! Have a great day!

    Mama Hen

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  13. That is a fantastic picture!! I love how you look at playdates as a window into other families...there is so much to see and sometimes there's a lot to be said for ways other people do things. I just came across your blog and am a new follower...I love your style and spirit!

    ~Carla
    jollyjansen.blogspot.com

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  14. We didn't do too many play dates, but I like your positive outlook on enjoying them for what they are worth. Funny you should mention the "unspoken rule" that moms may observe and even learn a thing or two but never interfere or "butt in" to someone else's parenting style. That's only funny because it's oh so true! That is a very nice pic of you and Little Lewie...take care. -E

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  15. Just thought I would let you know that I have nominated you fro the Stylish Blogger Award here:http://petalpickingdesigns.blogspot.com/2011/02/surprise.html

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  16. They are definitely a learning experience for everyone. And your right it gives us an opportunity to see how others do it; right or wrong.

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  17. I think it's so difficult to hold your tongue when you disagree with something. I completely agree that we all have different parenting styles. And every baby is blessed with a different personality. But how fun is that?! It must be so awesome to get that little peek into someone else's life and parenting style. I've actually never had baby girl with other babies before, but at this stage they'd all just roll around and drool, I imagine.

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