"I Don't Want to..."


Almost a year ago, I decided to write a post about Lewie's "no phase."  Every kid has it, though I believe it comes with varying degrees.  The "no phase" didn't last too long, thankfully, but a new phase has creeped right in...  Instead of saying "no" to everything, my little boy has expanded his expression of resistance to the simple phrase "I don't want to..."

I hear "I don't want to..." about three or four times per day on good days.  On bad days, my little boy will say it non-stop.  Just today, I've been told the following:
     "I don't want to watch Calliou.  I want to watch Scooby Doo."
     "I don't want to get dressed upstairs.  I want to get dressed downstairs."
     "I don't want to go shopping."
     "I don't want to go potty."
     "I don't want (the traffic light) to be green.  I want it to be red."

The list can go on and on...  Finally, if this isn't enough, my little boy likes to barter with me too.  "Give me two minutes" is one of his favorite responses when he doesn't want to do something--take a bath, go potty, leave for preschool, etc. etc.  At first, I'd actually give him the two minutes, until I realized there's no sincerity behind the comment.  The two minutes would just become four minutes, to one hour, to just about never if it were up to him.  "Two minutes" in his vocabulary means very simply....I don't want to...all over again.

What do you do when your little one is being resistant?


  1. Amazingly, Lilly hasn't reached her "No" phase. Oh, don't be fooled. The kid says "No" with her actions, just not so much with her words. Is it wrong that I had a good laugh when I read this? I guess because Lilly is constantly pushing and testing her boundaries, she might as well be saying "No" or "I don't want to". It's exhausting. I feel your pain on that front. I suppose I just try to channel my inner peace and not lose my patience. It's a battle. :giggle:: Some days my inner peace takes a vacation. I wish I had some fantastic words of wisdom, but I'm in the same boat if that helps!

  2. Ah... Malachi does the same type of thing, but his phrase is "I can't like it" as in, "I can't like the potty" or "I can't like the soup" or "I can't like Diego", etc. It's kinda funny actually, but super frustrating! =)

  3. Yes we've all been there/are there. We were in a 'No Thank You' phase for a while, which made total strangers laugh. Right now we are slowly turning out of the no's and tantrums. They still happen but just not multiple a day.

  4. My daughter does the same things! Except she doesn't want us to stop at red lights, which leads to lots of screaming and whining from the backseat because I have to. I give in to some of her negotiations and try to compromise when I can but usually I just explain why something has to be. I repeat myself ALOT!

  5. I actually just went along with it. :-) He doesn't want to change upstairs? Good, because TOMORROW we're changing downstairs! Doesn't want the light to be red? No, me neither!

    It's all a matter of learning some power, and learning about opposites. Luckily, it eventually ends!


  6. Oh yes I know these lines only too well! I've learned that in the end they have to know that I'm in charge and no matter what they say or excuses they come up with, if it's time to leave (or have dinner/bath/whatever), we're going!

  7. Ugh, it is so frustrating sometimes! Willful little beings, they are. We usually give choices. We went through a phase where everything felt very negative and naggy around here. So, we started a sticker chart, and it really really helps!

  8. John is doing the same thing and making me crazy lately! He's gone from listening and behaving so nicely to actually trying to be deviant. It's exhausting... I end up tackling him to get him dressed or change his diaper so often because he is either irate or going noodle in a fit of giggles. Ack! He recently had a stomach bug, and when I was trying to get him to do something (or not do something... can't remember...)he let me know that whatever it was would cause him to "throw up on the window". Apparently he was learned how to milk it!


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