Just as the Easter season elicits both the sentiments of sadness and rejoicing, our holiday felt the same way. My father-in-law died back in September, and my husband, of course, is still grieving. For him, he didn't just lose a father--he lost a best friend, a confidant, and "the man of wisdom" in his family. Celebrating the holiday without him was tough. And quite honestly, these past few months have been tough. My husband's sadness and grief have turned into feelings of anger, despair, and depression. He wakes up in the middle of the night sobbing, and although our faith teaches us that there is more than just this little life of ours, he still can't shake the feeling that his dad is "gone," fearing that he'll never have a chance to speak with him again...
It's at times like these and during holidays like Easter that we are called to "keep the faith." We are reminded that there's an after-life with God and our loved ones and that our mistakes on earth are forgiven with God's great love. I remind my husband that he will see his dad again--that his dad is most likely watching and protecting him now as we speak. Still, for my husband, there's a void and an emptiness that is shaking both his faith and hope for the future. We're seeking therapy, and I'm praying for him. I desperately want to stop his emotional pain and suffering, and yet, even as his wife, I am still nothing more than a bystander, a mere onlooker, in this process. Nothing that I say or do works...
The joy of this Easter, of course, was celebrating this wonderful holiday with Little Lewie. My mom and aunts spoiled him with candy and presents as usual, and of course, the Easter Bunny paid us a visit too. He's been grieving the loss of Papa in his own way too, but I make certain that we talk to God and Papa all the time, so he knows that they're close to us. Believing is a gift; it's the gift of Easter. Now if I could only wrap this gift up and give it to my husband.
|It looks like the Easter Bunny may have hid some eggs...|
|My annual Easter photo of Lewie posing in front of our church sign.|
|Lewie and "Aunt" Karen|
|Lewie with "Aunty Kiki" (and his Thomas the Train gift)|
|My mom and Lewie|
|Trying to cheer up my husband...|
|Posing in front of the Connecticut River|
|Happy (belated) Easter from our family to yours!|