Puberty

 I wasn't sure if I was going to post about this topic; the concept has me blushing like a thirteen year-old girl all over again.  And yet, if this blog is supposed to be about motherhood, about raising a son, and about our family time over the past eleven or so years, I can't really skip over it.  It's a part of life, and this year, especially, it's becoming a major part of ours.

Last year, in 5th grade, Lewie's school was going to separate the boys from the girls and have "the talk."  I didn't exactly know what "the talk" was, so when COVID happened, I felt relieved.  "Phew," I caught myself saying, "that was a close one."  Truth be told, I've not been very open with Lewie when it comes to discussing biology.  For instance, we don't call body parts by their respective names--we have "cute" names like wash your "birdie" or your "twig and berries."  I certainly don't discuss my female anatomy either--ever.  

During Lewie's last week of fifth grade, I decided to reach out to his school counselor: "Um, Mrs. Hanover, do you remember the video the school was going to show the fifth graders back in April?  You know, um, the one about puberty.  Is there a link to it, so maybe Lewie can watch it over the summer?"

My heart pounded fast again as if I was asking the school counselor for a sex manual.   Why was I feeling like I was having an anxiety attack?

"The maturation video?" she asked me.

"Yes," I answered, realizing that the term maturation sounded way more scientific and less embarrassing.  She sent it to me, and that was that.

Fast forward to March of this year, and I still hadn't shown the video to Lewie. Bad mommy!  One day while he was downstairs in a Google Meet with his class, I discreetly went upstairs, closed the door and watched the video--finally.  After watching it, I felt both ashamed and relieved at the same time.  Ashamed because I had really made this video out to be "dirty" when it was really quite innocent.  I felt relieved because it truly was a well crafted video made for fifth graders.  The video link, created by P&G, can be found here.

When I realized how immature I was being, I finally chose a weekend for Lewie and I to watch the video together and talk about any biological changes he might be noticing right now.  I then thought it would be fun to watch my favorite movie Big with Tom Hanks as the whole premise of the movie is watching a twelve year-old boy turn into an adult over night.  (Lewie is twelve years-old right now.)

The "Puberty Weekend" ended up being a big hit.  We laughed about some of the changes he would be experiencing, and we confirmed that some of them, like zits, were already happening.  Certainly, his sweat glands were already pretty active as just a few months earlier, I explained to Lewie that he needed to start using powder for his feet and deodorant for his underarms.   He told me he thought his voice was already starting to get deeper to which I laughed.  "You're dreaming," I replied.  "Don't rush it!"

Lewie also loved my favorite movie, which warmed my heart.  "I would have chosen to be a kid again, too," he said during the final part of the movie.  Certainly "the kid" experience of Josh Baskin (the main character in the movie) is very different from Lewie's experience as a kid.  (I can't believe how much my childhood from the 80s is so different from his.)  Still, he related to the joy of being a kid, growing up with his family, and having a best friend.  In the end, Lewie, like the character, Josh Baskin, decides that he doesn't need to be in a rush to be "big" after all.  My husband and I both cried at the end when Josh Baskin returns home, and his mom can be heard crying tears of joy.  (If you haven't seen this movie from the 80's, it's awesome, even if I already gave away the ending!!)

Yes, at age 12, Lewie is getting taller, and there are some signs that his body is changing.  His sassy attitude, at times, also casts a hint of what I can expect during his teenage years.  I'm not sure I'm happy about this period of transition, but I must remind myself that Lewie can't stay small forever.  First I had to say goodbye to the baby, then the toddler, and now the little boy in grammar school.  I've been told that seventh grade (next year) is when Lewie will have the "big talk" in school.  I might have to volunteer Hubby to be the champion of that discussion.  For now, I'll still hold onto the innocence of childhood a little bit longer.  If only I could freeze time.