A Long Winter

Somehow, January skipped to March, and in between, there was work, school, illness, and a few bright spots here and there.

Being a new employee, I still couldn't take time off from work yet, so I had to squeeze in family fun on weekends and holidays; however, even our weekends and holidays felt scarce because of a long-lasting stomach bug (through most of January) and repeated colds. In late February, I finally caved in and made an appointment for Little Lewie and me to see our naturopath. Lewie had lost more than six days of school and was still feeling sick to his stomach. The poor kid spent his "well" time trying to get caught up on all the work he missed, and although I paid over $300 for him to be part of the ski club, he only had one day of skiing out of the entire season. It was a bummer for sure!

On the other hand, we did have a few snow days, and I used the time to get out there and hit the trails. Lewie came with me a few times, but when he couldn't, I always had my trusty pup, Bruce, to keep me company. Ironically, many of our snow days fell on the weekends, so Bruce and I were able to enjoy the snow this winter more than any other since we adopted him in 2020. We had about twelve hiking days in the snow, which was a record!

Some other fun moments were roller skating with my bestie, Jen, tubing with my hubby, and attending two 50th birthday parties. The tubing experience with my hubby was a pleasant surprise. Ever since my husband had a complete knee replacement surgery in November, he's been going to physical therapy three times a week and doing well. I wasn't sure if it was wise for me to buy tickets for us to tube, but he kept saying he'd "give it a try," and I kept promising him that there was no pressure for him to continue if it felt uncomfortable.

Fast forward to the day of our tubing adventure, and we had one of the best experiences ever! For years, he could only go down the hill a handful of times because of his knee. This time, with his new knee, he went down more times than I could count. Even more, he started off wearing a knee brace and realized not only did he not need it, but it was actually interfering with his mobility. He was snow tubing like he was ten years younger. We were both AMAZED!

Finally, I am dubbing this year the year of "Midlife" or the year of turning 50. Yes, I will be turning 50 in October, which is leading me to reevaluate my journey. I am proud to say I was accepted into an Ed.D. program, which I may start as soon as this summer! (The goal is to say I started an Ed.D. program in my 40s--lol). 

However, since I am turning 50, so are most of my friends. Thus, the slate of 50th birthday party celebrations has only just begun. Two of my friends, Debbie and Mary Ann, turned 50 this month, and so did my cousin, Carl. Another friend has hers in April. I am careful not to post some of these birthday photos here since not everyone wants a grand announcement, but I am posting the picture of my cousin, Carl. He, by far, has the best attitude toward turning the big 5-0. "I am so happy to be 50. I am so happy to be this age." Truthfully, minus the aches and pains, I'll admit that I like the wisdom that comes with being this age, too. Of course, I'm still 49. Might as well not rush it.

My cousin's 50th Celebration from yesterday. Who says 50 can't be AWESOME?

Three Birthdays

Fun Fact:  In our house, the four of us have birthdays right in a row.  My son starts the birthday season with his on August 11; my husband is next on September 16; my birthday follows on October 3rd, and my mom ends the season of partying on October 8th. 

In some ways, the four back-to-back celebrations can be difficult (i.e. the party planning, budgeting, and time management).  In other ways, the time of year is perfect.  My son gets the summer birthday, my husband gets the sweet spot between summer and fall, and my mom and I get the first few glorious weekends of fall.  Additionaly, our birthdays don't have to compete with any major holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Instead, we have the start of school and Labor Day; by the time Colombus Day rolls around, our celebrations have ended.

In August, I already posted how my son became a teenager this year, celebrating with a pool party and a sleepover.  For us, the celebrations were much different but FUN!!  

The first of the adult birthdays started with Hubby (Big Lew). He wanted to go to NYC for his birthday, so he could attend the filming of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert. (Jon Batiste and Stay Human are some of his favorite musicians.)  The request was not an easy one, but I was determined to make it happen.  

I chose several weekdays in September and put our names on a waitlist.  (Getting those days and my work schedule to line up felt like a maze, but in the end, Tuesday, September 21st became the lucky day.)  We took the Metro-North train into Grand Central Station at noon, and from there, we walked to the Ed Sullivan Theater in Midtown Manhattan.  (The day was warm and pleasant, perfect for the walk to the theater and the several hour wait outside),  After the filming, we walked to The Tavern on the Green inside Central Park to have a delicious birthday outside underneath a canopy of starry white lights.  Honestly, the ambiance made me feel like I was in a fairytale.  

On the train to Grand Central...

We could take pictures outside, but we couldn't take any pictures inside the theater.

Underneath the starry canopy of the Tavern at the Green

By the time we took the train back to CT and drove home from the train station, it was well after 11 p.m.  Our feet were tired and our throats were sore from all the hooting and hollering, but our hearts were full of gratitude for the beautiful day that was given to us without any hitches.  It was a birthday (a 51st birthday celebration) to remember!

My birthday was a little more low-key.  I requested a yummy lunch on the patio of the G.W. Tavern followed by a hike.  Hubby accompanied me, and much like his birthday, mine was equally perfect.  Somehow, we were lucky enough to get the best seat in the house--a small, simple table on the outermost part of the patio overlooking a lush green hillside.  Then we went for a stroll on one of the many trails at the White Memoiral Conservation Center, where we were able to get a glimpse of a few vibrant yellows, oranges, and reds from the slowly changing trees.

Sitting on the patio wall of my favorite restaurant.

On the following weekend, we celebrated my mom's birthday--first going to Clover Nook Farm (local to us) to pick pumpkins and then visiting Pumpkintown U.S.A. in East Hampton, CT.  Before my mom's fall (last May), I had visions of taking her on a weekend getaway to Stowe, VT, but she still didn't feel ready for an overnight trip.

Pumpkintown U.S.A. is this unique little village made of people with pumpkin heads.  It begins with a drive through the forest and then ends with a walk through the "town" next to a few shops, notably The Harvest Store and Paul and Sandy's Too Hardware and Garden Center.  We had never gone before, but it turns out that it was the perfect event for my mom that is still recovering from her fall and for Lewie who lately has this aversion to huge crowds.  We had a chance to view many cute scenes of pumpkin people going to school, golfing, skiing, running a farm stand, getting married, and so much more.  During the forest drive-through, we ordered yummy popcorn and cider donuts for the ride.  In the town, we visited the stores and bought ourselves plants at the garden center.  It was another gorgeous day without any hitches, and while the event certainly attracts people (mostly young families), it was easy to walk around, take pictures, and shop without any waiting.

Pumpkins at Clover Nook Farm

Welcome to Pumpkintown U.S.A.

Why "I do" take this pumpkin to be my lawfully wedded wife.

Too cute for words!

Our cake celebrations for all three birthdays were held at home--whether it was pecan pie (Hubby), cupcakes (me), or an apple pie (my mom), we all blew out candles and made a wish--probably the same one... After a year of having to do all our celebrating at home in 2020, it was nice to be able to travel locally to celebrate our special days.  Still, in the end, the sweetest part was being able to spend these days with the people we love, knowing we get to cherish another year!!

When Life Gives You Lemons...

 I can't believe I haven't written a blog post in a full month, but then again, I can...

The same day I posted about my wonderful Mother's Day Dinner, my mom tripped on our front porch and fell...HARD.  I witnessed the whole thing.  We were freaking out over these flying ants that were burrowing in the cracks on my porch, and she came running with a can of Raid.  She was in such a hurry to get rid of the infestation that she tripped and fell.  (To this day, I'm not sure if she tripped on the porch step or the garden hose in front of the porch step, but I guess it doesn't matter...)  The fall keeps on playing in my head over and over again, and I'm still kicking myself for not being able to react faster.  If I were only an inch or two closer, I could have stopped it!!

My beautiful mom at the Hildene three years ago in 2018...

What transpired after the fall was a series of X-rays, doctor's appointments, an MRI, and a scheduled surgery.  The first known bruises were on the right side--she had scrapes on her knee and a swollen wrist.  A visit to a medi-clinic confirmed she broke her wrist, but she needed to see a specialist to determine if she needed surgery. My poor mom wanted to avoid surgery at all costs, so she opted to have her wrist heal on its own--first with a hard cast and then with a soft, removable one.  The only disadvantage to not choosing surgery, as she was told, was that her wrist would look different--it would probably have a bump.

After a week of icing and treating her wrist, my mom then started to complain about pains to her back, right hip, and stomach.  We were perplexed. For a whole week, my mom was able to walk with no problem; now she could barely stand up!  We went back to get more X-rays, and this time they found out that she fractured a vertebrae in her back!!  The fall did even more damage than we suspected!

Once again, my mom was faced with a decision about having surgery.  If she chose to let her vertebrae heal on its own, it would mean 12 weeks of being in a body brace and not being able to bend.  It would also mean 12 individual weeks of doctor's visits to confirm her vertebrae was healing correctly.  The other option was a surgery called kyphoplasty.  If she chose this route, the doctor would fill the crack in her vertebrae with a type of cement and release her to go home on the same day:  "Patients experience 50% pain relief almost immediately.  After a full 48 hours, you'll be able to go outside and garden again."     

When faced with the decision of 12 weeks in a body cast vs. an out-patient surgical procedure that could give her her life back within 48 hours, she chose the latter.  Sure there were more doctor's appointments to confirm she was in good enough health--a bone scan, a cardiogram, an MRI, a blood draw, and a visit to her primary care physician--but now, almost a month after her fall, she goes in for surgery TODAY.

My mom's nervous.  I'm nervous.  But, the alternative is watching my mom suffer for another 2 to 3 months while she sits in front of the TV, losing all the strength and movement in her body to atrophy.  

The reality is that sometimes life gives us lemons...  For starters, my mom and I were supposed to have a mother-daughter day on Sunday, May 23rd (the day after my mom's fall) to enjoy a day of shopping at the Clinton Outlets.  On Friday, June 18th, we were supposed to go to the annual Newport Flower Show, which was cancelled last year due to COVID.  And, of course, she was supposed to be able to go outside and enjoy swimming in the pool now that we've had some steamy 90 degree days.

The Newport Flower Show 2019

For me, this past month was hard.  In the midst of this excitement at home, I was scheduled to begin teaching two classes on May 24th all while trying to complete several important reports (due the first week of June) for my administrative position.  Lewie was scheduled to return back to school on June 1st too, so he could spend his last two weeks getting acclimated to middle school while seeing his teachers and classmates in-person!  Naturally something had to go and that was my blog--my time to think, reflect, write, and daydream.

Now the surgery is here, and we're not out of the woods yet.  Will my mom be pain-free?  Will she be able to do all the things she once did?  Will she get full recovery of her right wrist?  Will she finally be able to enjoy summer the way she had imagined?

The lemonade comes from watching everyone in this little family pitch-in.  For the most part, I've been my mom's caretaker.  I make breakfast, lunch, and dinner; I write-out her bills and balance her checkbook; I buy her groceries, vitamins, and supplies; and I send out needed paperwork to help her get short-term disability, etc.  However, my husband has taken her to most of her appointments, and he's made us some yummy dinners, too.  (After my mom came back from one of her more difficult appointments last week, hubby took her home and made her a yummy late breakfast of eggs and bacon; he's treated her like his own mom!)  Now that school is out, Little Lewie has been in the habit of going next door to check on Grammy, too.  Sometimes he pours her water or brings her morning banana; other times, he keeps her company by watching a movie or playing a game.

We may be a small family, but we are mighty.  When one person is down, the whole family is down, and that's why we all need to rally together to become whole again.  I wish this fall never happened...but at least we made lemonade as best we could.

Day Date with Hubby

I have not had a “day date” alone with my husband since Lil’ Lewie was born 22 months ago. Sure we’ve done a few things at night (movies, restaurants, roller-skating) but a day date was different.

It all started when my sister-in-law volunteered to take Lil’ Lewie to a toddler birthday party that was held yesterday. “I know he’d have a lot of fun with the other kids,” she said. “What do you think?”

Lewie and I looked at each other and took a moment to bring our jaws back up to the floor. “Really? You don’t mind taking him for the day?” I asked again because it sounded too good to be true.

“Really. Plus, Sarah (his four year-old cousin) would love spending time with him,” she answered.

If my sister-in-law volunteered to watch Lil’ Lewie a year ago, I would have declined the offer. Parenting was still new to me, and I had a hard time entrusting anyone else with the responsibility of watching him. Now that he was older and not so fragile, my worries dissipated.
“Sounds great!” I exclaimed. “What time does he need to be ready?”

My husband and I could hardly contain our enthusiasm. Sure we just had a wonderful trip to the Bahamas, but we couldn’t actually do anything together. One of us had to watch Lil’ Lewie while the other one was given free time to read, relax on the beach, swim, or soak up some rays. Now we could do whatever we wanted TOGETHER!

Like two teenagers planning our first date, we quickly went over our list of possible options—beach, hiking, Margaritas, outdoor concerts, amusement parks—and yeah, I almost forgot—sex.

After some scrutiny, we chose our day plan in this order.

--Lunch out on the patio of the GW Tavern/Restaurant

--A long hike at Steep Rock Reservation

--Intimate time at home

The plan, to us anyways, was a dream come true. My husband had never been to the GW Restaurant, and I couldn’t wait for him to try the food and see the exquisite view from the patio. Hiking was a great plan because Lil’ Lewie was still too young to go with us, and at a healthy 33 lbs. we weren’t about to try carrying him on our backs or in a sling. And finally, after some much needed emotional bonding during lunch and our hike, it would only be right to then have some physical intimacy as well.

During our lunch and our hike, we reconnected on both an emotional and spiritual level. We talked about our marriage, about our first dates, our trips, our honeymoon, our Lil’ Lewie, and the prospect of having more kids. We talked about life, death, change, hopes, dreams, and fears. Our time together, in essence, reminded us of why we became best friends and chose each other as life partners to begin with. I was surprised by how easily our conversation flowed, and for once out of twenty-two months, we really had something more meaningful to say to each other instead of the usual…

Me: “Are you going to help me with the dishes?”

Husband: “After I finish watching my show.”

Me: “You know you’re going to fall asleep in that recliner and not help me with the dishes.”

Husband: “I promise I will do the dishes. Okay, Nagarella?”

When we pulled up into our driveway after the hike, Lew’s sister was already in the driveway waiting for us. Lil’ Lewie jumped out of the car like a wildman and spoke in such animated gibberish that I was certain he was recounting the events of the day.

“I guess it looks like the sex is out,” my husband whispered, sounding obviously disappointed.

“Remember, we’re married now and have a kid,” I teased, “we’ll try again when Lil’ Lewie is grown and moves away to college.”

Yes Dear, I'll Buy You ANOTHER Wedding Band

For Father’s Day, I bought my husband a typical shirt and a little trinket as a gift from Lil’ Lewie to Daddy. However, this year, I decided to buy him a gift from me as well…a wedding band.

It’s not like he didn’t have a wedding band. He did. About a year ago, he lost it. I think the conversation went something like this…

Husband: “Annette, have you seen my wedding band?”

Me: “No, you better not have lost it. Lewie…did you lose it?”

Husband: (Silence.)

I gave him a year to find it. I gave him a year to make him think about what he did and repent, and then finally, I gave it a year to realize that I should just suck it up and buy him another one. After all, although I never lost my wedding ring or my engagement ring, I have lost other sentimental things in my life. Well sort of…

For Father’s Day, I bought my husband a stainless steel personalized spinner band that could be engraved on the outside and also on the inside. While I’m not a big advocate for marketing products on my blog, I do have to say that I love the ring. On the outside in clear, black, legible letters, it says Annette & Lew with our wedding date, and on the inside, it says our son’s name, Lewie Jayden, with his birth date.

No, it’s not the typical wedding band, but he loves it. It’s masculine, it’s affordable (less than $100), and it’s one of a kind. If he loses this one, now I can make Lil’ Lewie give him a guilt trip right along with me since his name's on it too!