When it Rains, It Pours...

I'll be honest; these last few months have been HARD!  We started out with a few fun events. For example, in February, we saw comedian Tom Papa at Foxwoods Resort, and in the first week of April, we saw comedian Nate Bargatze at the DCU Center in Worcester, MA. 

However, the fun didn't last long...  In March, Bruce came into the house limping. We hoped that, with rest, his hind leg would feel better. However, after two weeks of rest with no change, he had an X-ray, and we discovered not one but two of his "knees" had torn ACLs.  He needed a surgery called a TPLO, which cost $13,000. His recovery would be a full eight weeks, with very strict guidelines about taking him out on a leash and walking him short distances multiple times per day. 

In the midst of Bruce's recovery, my son Lewie was rushed by ambulance to the hospital on a random Thursday afternoon.  He told my mother he couldn't pee and felt uncomfortable. A few hours later, the discomfort turned into excruciating pain--Lewie couldn't stand upright and was crying in agony. My mom let my husband and me know she couldn't wait for us to come home from work; she had to dial 911. It's a good thing she did!  The nurses at the hospital said if Lewie had arrived only a few minutes later, his bladder would have ruptured!

Evidently, Lewie had a blockage in his urethra from "scar tissue." We don't know how he was injured, but a theory is that it came from a bad UTI he had back in 2020.  They had to "puncture" his urethra to help him pee, but they told us the puncture was just a temporary fix. He would need to return again in a week for a formal surgery to remove the blockage. The formal surgery sounded harmless enough--that is, until Lewie came home with a catheter he'd have to wear for five days!  To recap, Lewie had to have his urethra punctured, cut, and then probed with a catheter--his nerve endings kept him in unrelenting pain, and the bleeding didn't stop until three days later. I wouldn't wish what he went through on my worst enemy! At one point, he was developing dark circles under his eyes due to lack of sleep. It was just too uncomfortable!

The day Lewie could finally go back to the doctor to have his catheter removed was a good day. Lewie said he felt AMAZING, and I went to a higher education conference that was fun, too.  That night, having exhaled after all the excitement from the past week, my mom...FELL.  She tripped over Bruce's toys, and down she went. Her right hand was a bloody mess, and she knew immediately that she had done something to her foot.  She couldn't put pressure on it.  Hubby and I knew what we had to do... An ambulance arrived at our house again--this time for Grammy.  They examined her for her fall, took her vitals, and concluded she needed to be evaluated at the hospital.  Almost 12 hours later, they bandaged up her foot, confirming she fractured three bones, and wanted her to go to physical therapy immediately to teach her how to get around using a walker and hopping on one foot. The only problem is that my mom's leg is too weak for hopping, and her right arm is too injured to navigate a walker. We brought her home, but it hasn't been easy.  I'll spare the details, but I am essentially learning what it's like to be a caregiver--it's not easy at all!!!

They say bad things happen in threes.  I hope this is the end for us.  Bruce has another four weeks of recovery, and my mom now has six weeks.  June is going to be a long month. I'm sure we'll figure out a way to get through it, but we're all in a rush to get back to our old sense of normalcy. 

Mother's Day 2026 before Lewie's surgery and my mom's fall.

A Mother's Day to Treasure (Now that My Son is Home from the Hospital)

Where do I begin? I thought my next blog post was going to be about Costa Rica. (We went from April 14 - April 21.)  The trip, which included activities like hiking, snorkeling, rafting, bike riding, and ziplining, was fun but exhausting, and each of us (including my fifteen-year-old son) arrived home feeling like we had just run a marathon. Our flight arrived in Hartford early Monday morning, so I told Lewie he could use the day to sleep in instead of going to school. (I still had to go to work.)

We all arrived home a little banged up. I had a few minor bruises from rafting, Lew's knees were swollen (he had to use a wheelchair at the airport), and Lewie had an injury from bike riding (he took a header) and felt sore from ziplining. On Monday, Lewie's arms, back, and shoulders continued to hurt, and he said he felt some type of 'pop' in his chest.

As the week progressed, Lewie's soreness was getting worse instead of better. By Wednesday night, he said his chest hurt, and it was hard to breathe. Being the great parents we are, we told Lewie to stop exaggerating. "Lewie, you probably pulled a muscle," I told him repeatedly. "Doctors can't do anything for pulled muscles." My husband, too, kidded him--"Toughen up, fluffy!" Surely, my husband had a right to tease him as he was hobbling around on crutches with not one but two bum knees.

My mom was the voice of reason. "I think he should get checked out." It was decided that Lewie would go to school on Thursday, but instead of going to tennis practice in the afternoon, my mom would drive him to the walk-in. There, they could take a chest x-ray if needed. 

On Thursday afternoon, time stopped. It's as if our normal life was paused and a dramatic movie took over. It started with my mom's phone call at work. "Annette, it's Mom. I'm here at the walk-in clinic with Lewie, and the doctor wants to talk to you."

Before I could respond, a sweet, angelic voice took over the phone. "Hello, are you Lewie's mom? We just finished taking an x-ray of Lewie's chest, and he has a collapsed lung. There's no need to panic as I have a smiling kid looking at me who otherwise appears normal, but we need to rush him to the emergency now. Do I have your verbal permission to send him to Yale Children's Hospital?"

"Of course," I said in shock. There was some confusion about whether the ambulance would actually take him to Yale because the drivers were typically instructed to take him to the nearest hospital; unfortunately, the closest hospital didn't have the capacity to deal with a collapsed lung. I called Daddy Lew in the meantime and asked him to rush over to the clinic.

The next phone call came in while I sprinted to my car to leave work. "The ambulance is taking him," my husband blurted, "I'm driving there now. I'll keep you posted."

The next 48 hours were a blur. Upon his arrival at Yale, Lewie's medical team had to puncture a hole between his ribs to insert a chest tube. (My husband, who was allowed to stay in the room during the procedure, nearly fainted as blood was spurting everywhere.) When one incision didn't work, they made a new one. Lewie received a dose of Ketamine to be used as a short-acting anesthetic, but it gave him bad hallucinations, and he remembered waking up out of the hallucination only to see his blood everywhere. "Two bodies, one brain, two bodies, one brain," Lewie said over and over again while waking from one of his hallucinations.

When the procedure was over, there was a sigh of relief. His lung had filled itself back up with air--hooray! The doctors kept taking x-rays and monitoring him only to explain that Lewie wasn't in the clear yet. "We need to perform another surgery. His lung is losing air, and if we send him home right now, he'll be back again in the same situation."

I can't say exactly what they did. It sounded like they needed to scrape the lung to create scar tissue so it would attach itself to his chest cavity. It wasn't until after the procedure that the doctors and nurses said this surgery was a particularly painful one. My mom and I were there when he woke up from his anesthesia. When he first woke up, he seemed almost like normal Lewie, but within twenty minutes, he became violently ill. The poor kid was miserable--an intravenous in one arm, a chest tube in his side, and a sensitive stomach that was rejecting the anesthesia. I wanted to sob.

On April 29, Lewie was released from the hospital. We would need to bring him back for follow-up visits, but his surgeries were considered a success. He received a huge outpour of love and support from his friends, family, and high school. (In fact, some friends visited him in the hospital!) Now, we are in rest and recovery mode. His side, especially the area of his chest tube incision, is sore, and it hurts him to ride in cars, walk, and do simple tasks. It appears he won't be able to play tennis for the rest of this season, and only now have we been talking about him getting tutoring and seeing if he can attend the last few weeks of school. One mistake I will never make again is to downplay Lewie's physical feelings. If he says something hurts, I believe him, and if he says he's not ready for school yet, then he's not ready.

Lewie leaving Yale with one of his favorite nurses.

As for the cause, it appears that Lewie had an air blister (a bleb) on his lung that ruptured and caused a spontaneous lung collapse. (He thinks the rupture happened on Monday when he felt a "pop" in his chest.) There is no known reason for this happening, and it appears that our trip to Costa Rica wouldn't have caused it in any way, but I am so glad this didn't happen while we were there. Would they have had the technology to take care of him? Would we be charged out-of-pocket for the whole thing? Would he have been able to fly home? The doctors tell us we should avoid flying for the next year, so how would Lewie have been able to come home? 

We are supposed to eat at a restaurant this Mother's Day, but we'll see if Lewie feels up for it. Right now, I just thank my lucky stars that I get to celebrate Mother's Day with my precious "Little Lewie" (and my mom and Daddy Lew, too). As parents to teenagers, we think our kids are invincible. I won't take this fragile thing called "life" for granted for any of us again.

Grandma Dearest

My son Lewie is a unique kid. About four years ago, he started referring to hubby and me as Father Dearest and Mother Dearest. My mom, who lives right next door to us, became Grandma Dearest. I'll admit I wasn't a fan of the names at first, but like all things, they grew on me. Now I refer to my mom as Grandma Dearest, too.

Lucky for me, Grandma Dearest will be entering her eighth decade in October, and she's pretty phenomenal (knock on wood). She works virtually from home for about 20-25 hours per week, cooks, and spends hours outside tending the yard. She remembers every holiday, birthday, anniversary, and graduation, and she makes it her mission to ensure that all her family, friends, and work friends know how much they are loved. I often wonder how she seems to have twice as much energy as I have on most days!

Last October, I announced I was laid off from work. I hoped to find a job after the holidays, but January came and went, just like February, March, April, and May. With each passing month, I felt like staying in bed sulking over my fate, but I do know, in all reality, I have it good. Both Father Dearest and Grandma Dearest have come to the rescue. It's because of them that we can still afford to pay our bills while having a little left over to do fun things. It's because of them that I'm still able to attend job interview after job interview with my head held high even when I've lost all confidence. (Getting enough rejection letters can do that to you.)

It is for the reasons above and more that I dedicate the month of May to Grandma Dearest. The fact of the matter is that my mom has been there for me for my 47 years of life, but in recent years, I've been too busy with my own "professional career" to notice. I took for granted all the nights she made dinner for Lewie, all the holidays she made dinner for us, and all the home repairs/projects she supervised while I could put in long hours at work. I took for granted how often she helped set up and clean up after family gatherings. And I certainly forgot how often she covered a house bill without asking us to pay our share. The list can go on and on and on...

This month, I wanted to make my mom feel special, and since I had more time than usual, I scheduled three events (while keeping to a budget, of course). On Mother's Day, we had our special dinner at the Hopkin's Inn (now a family tradition). However, two weeks prior, we attended a performance at the Goodspeed Opera House (a first for us), and a week ago, we took a bus trip to see the beautiful Blithewold Mansion in Bristol, Rhode Island. My mom fretted over the cost, the weather, and her health, but in all areas, faith and hope carried us through. (We hadn't been on a bus trip together since the start of the pandemic in 2020.)

Here are just a few photos of our recent adventure to the Blithewold Mansion (with a stop at the Imagine Gift Store in Warren, RI first.)  If you haven't been to either, they are worth the trip. The Imagine Gift Store is located in the historic Lyric Theater Building with three floors of unique gifts for everyone in the family--check out the welcome (dog) mat below. The first half of the store is an ice cream parlor and a penny candy store (with over 500 candies). For anyone nearing 50, like me, do you remember candy cigarettes, Pop Rocks, or wax lips? They have everything--even when they are no longer "politically correct." The second half of the store has cascading umbrellas with tons of quirky, heartfelt, and souvenir items. We LOVED it.

The Blithewold Mansion is a 33-acre summer estate on Narragansett Bay with 45 rooms. Like most of the mansions (summer estates) in Newport, R.I., this one, too, was built in the late 1800s by a coal baron. (Remember, they didn't have to pay taxes on their properties back in the day.) This estate, however, doesn't have the "grandiose" feel like the Newport mansions. Instead, it is a romantic, English-style, manor house surrounded by a rare collection of trees, shrubs, plants, and flowers. (For example, their eldest daughter Marjorie grew several Giant Sequoia trees on the property--similar to the type of behemoth Redwood trees only found on the West Coast. My mom, who has never been out West, was so enamored by the size of the trees!)

Our tour of the mansion included a tea lunch on their back patio, a tour of the house (including a collection of dresses worn by their two daughters), and a stroll through their gardens. Having gone the first weekend of May, we had already missed the splendor of their thousands of Daffodils on the property, but we were able to see some of their other early budding May flowers along with their unusual trees, shrubs, and "Moongate" rose garden. The day, honestly, was as lovely as it could possibly be... 

One of the Giant Sequoias on the property.

These special days with my mom were needed--not only to remind my mom that she's still young enough to travel but to remind me that better days are coming; I just need to trust in Divine timing. I feel blessed to have this amazing time with Grandma Dearest.

The Spring that Never Was...

To be completely honest, Spring 2022 was a blur...  We managed to have a few lovely low-key days for Easter and Mother's Day, but beyond that, weekends were spent helping my sister-in-law find and secure an apartment, buy second-hand furniture, and set up utilities, etc.  

Then, when it appeared like she had everything necessary to move out, we all caught COVID.  My son Lewie tested positive after his school band concert. Within a week, Lewie, my mom, my sister-in-law, and I all tested positive for COVID and had to quarantine.  A week later, my husband, who thought he dodged the illness, tested positive, too.  Our symptoms were all quite different.  My mom, who was old enough to request Paxlovid (the drug from Pfizer that helps shorten the severity and duration of COVID) did the best, describing her symptoms as being not much different from the common cold.  My son did well, but on Day 5, he sprung a fever and ended up having a urinary tract infection.  Hubby had flu symptoms for a few days; my sister-in-law was congested for weeks, and I felt flu-like (including a loss of taste and smell) for about a week.  The one similarity among us was exhaustion and brain fog; to be honest, we all continue to feel fatigue quite regularly even though our illness was back in the end of May.

During Easter break, we took Lewie to Foxwoods Casino (in Connecticut) for his very first time.  We bought tickets to see our favorite comedian, Jim Gaffigan, and our tickets, which were front and center, did not disappoint.  We had dinner at a seafood restaurant and then laughed the night away at the show.  Lewie enjoyed his first stand-up comedian event, but he wasn't too impressed with Foxwoods--crowds are not his thing.

Walking around Foxwoods before the show.

The anticipation...

These were our seats!!

We stayed overnight and spent the next morning in Mystic and the afternoon at the Mashantucket Pequot Museum.  It was Hubby's and Lewie's first time at the museum, but I had been there once before with my mom--probably 20 years ago when I was in graduate school.  The museum has a great artifact collection; however, the best part is the wax figures that depict a story of tribal life.  The life-like figures help people understand how native Americans lived off the land in Connecticut and how they worked, celebrated, and protected themselves.  (Their life was not easy to say the least!!)  One part I found fascinating is that Native Americans owned dogs as pets just like us; however, the dogs, back then, looked more like wolves--no Labrador Retrievers or Chiwawas for them!

A quick visit to downtown Mystic.

I can't take my husband anywhere...

On Easter Sunday, we attended mass, and "the Easter Bunny" paid Lewie a visit with plastic eggs and an Easter Basket.  At thirteen, he still enjoyed searching for everything and allowed me to get some fun pictures.  (I think he realized that once he declares he is too old for the Easter Bunny, he'll be forfeiting most of his favorite chocolate candy in addition to Steam and Amazon gift cards!)  Since Aunty Michelle was still living with us, Lewie's Easter loot was hidden on my mom's side of the house.  It provided a welcome change with new hiding places.

Bruce gets a bunny treat, too!

On the Saturday before Mother's Day, I took my mom to see Riverdance at the Oakdale Theater.  Unbeknownst to me, this year, Riverdance was celebrating its 25th Anniversary production.  We had great front and center seats, and the show was BEAUTIFUL.  The stage showcased gorgeous digital views of nature and the Irish countryside in between the Irish step-dancing, which was so graceful and powerful to watch.  Some scenes would start with haunting instrumental or vocal sounds.  Others would include international musicians, who would play by themselves or right along with the orchestra or the dancers.  (I enjoyed the musicians that played the tin whistle, the fiddle, and the drums the most.) 

During the second act, we had a chance to explore other dances similar to Irish step-dancing--namely, Flamenco and tap dancing (New York).  The Flamenco and tap were weaved intricately in between the Irish step-dancing to help us understand the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) differences between the three types of dance.  As someone that studied tap dancing for twenty+ years, I appreciated this part because it helped me see the nuances.  It also rekindled my love of dance--my tap shoes sit in my closet right now with about 16 years worth of dust!

These were our awesome seats at the Oakdale Theater.

On Mother's Day, we had our traditional dinner at the historic Hopkins Inn.  It was too chilly to eat outside, but we had a lovely table in the parlor overlooking Lake Waramaug.  The food was delicious as usual, and I was grateful that the four of us could laugh and think about happier days ahead.  The truth is that these last few years had been tough on all of us--the loss of my mother-in-law and Aunty Kiki in 2020; my mom's fall in 2021, which broke her wrist and a vertebrae in her back; and my sister-in-law's move into our home all while undergoing Chemo treatments for breast cancer.  This is not to complain, of course, but it was good to lift some of the heaviness and begin again.  

Mother's Day - Lewie and my mom

Lewie's band concert...before Covid.

Truth be told, this blog post about spring 2022 almost didn't happen...  Who wants to read about the spring in mid-July?  Now I realize there was a reason for this post.  Spring is about "new beginnings," and this one definitely fits the bill.  It was a good pre-cursor to what's starting out as a great summer.  Stay tuned...I have so much to share about our week-long trip to Utah in June and some of the interesting STEM projects Little Lewie has been working on this year...

P.S.  Our dog Bruce made the news!  I sent a video of him slithering like a snake to our WFSB Channel 3 News, and they showed his video on their "Trending Now" morning news segment.  Here is the link: https://www.wfsb.com/video/2022/05/18/trending-now-bear-drags-trash-slithering-dog-backyard-rollercoaster/