Relatives on the Move

Only two months ago, our relatives, specifically my two sister-in-laws, made the very big and finite decision to move.

“They’re going where?” I asked my husband in shock.

“They want to move to Florida.”

“But why?” I asked with curiosity.

“Because Michelle thinks the warmer weather will be better for her back. You know, she can go swimming all year round, and the doctor says aqua therapy would be good for her.”

“But what about your younger sister?”

“Melissa says it would be easier for her and Moses to find full-time jobs down there.”

The news came abruptly, and it really didn’t give me a chance to ponder the reality of it. We were so used to them living only ten minutes away from our house. We visited frequently, especially my husband, and we had lots of fun times together with both of them and their children.

Perhaps the most difficult part of the move would be missing our nieces and nephew—Kaleigh, Sarah, and Gabe. Even before we were married, my husband and I took Kaleigh and Gabe out to eat, to the movies, roller skating, snow tubing, hiking, and to see fireworks. One year, we even took Kaleigh to Wildwood, New Jersey, so she could experience the beach, the boardwalk, and all the fun rides and game booths. For the longest time, we considered them to be our surrogate children. We thought these little day trips and adventures with them would last forever, and now that Lil’ Lewie was getting older, he was enjoying their company too!

Sarah had another special place in our hearts. Being only four, she was the youngest of the niece and nephew clan. We didn’t have a chance to take her to all of the same places we went to with Kaleigh and Gabe, but Sarah and Lil’ Lewie in the past year had become the best of friends. While I went to work every Tuesday, Lil’ Lewie went over to the house and had a chance to play, dance, and runaround with Sarah. She affectionately took on the role of an older sibling and was eager to entertain Lil’ Lewie all day. He, playing the role of a younger sibling, enjoyed the entertainment and admiringly watched and mimicked her every move. Watching the two of them giggle and interact with each other is a fun diversion in itself. They are adorable together.

Now that the time is near (everyone will have left by this Friday), I’m slowly adjusting to the situation. Of course, we’ll be making frequent trips to Florida each year, and with them living only an hour from Disney World, we’ll have to make some visits to the Magic Kingdom for sure. I do understand the reason for the move. Life in Connecticut is expensive. In just our town alone, a house assessed at $300,000 will have to pay $10,000 per year in taxes. (Thankfully, our house isn’t assessed for that much, but we still have to pay approximately $7,000 per year.) On top of that, we have a car tax, boat tax, and a 6% sales tax. We have a lot of wealthy cities and towns in the state, which also drive up the cost of gas, food, and entertainment. My father, who moved to Georgia during his later years in life, often said he would move back to Connecticut if the cost of living wasn’t so ridiculous.

It’s funny how life always surprises us. What will be our future? To be honest, I can’t think that far ahead. For now, we are able to make ends meet up here, so there’s no reason for moving. My mother lives right next door to us, and Ninny and Papa (Lew’s parents) still live locally too. (Although they may move within the year.) I feel sad that Lil’ Lewie won’t have the daily or weekly interaction he once had with his cousins, but we’ll find a way to make sure they cherish the memories, create new ones, and stay close in mind and heart.

These beach photographs of Lil' Lewie, Gabe, Kaleigh, and Sarah were taken professionally this year by Fairy Tale Photography in Waterbury, CT. We made sure to take some pictures of all four cousins before the move to keep those memories alive!

Monday’s Mommy Moment: I Can Put Sun Block on All by Myself

I’ve decided that I’m going to reserve Monday for writing about a special mommy moment that took place during the week. With my little boy being twenty-two months old, it feels like he’s doing something new each day, and these moments can easily by missed. Today, I’m listing my favorite of the week.

Lately as I’ve been giving my little boy a bath, he’s been interested in lathering himself up with the body wash all by himself. (I use Weleda Calendula Shampoo and Body Wash.) I put a little dab of it in his hand, and he rubs it onto his chest and belly and makes an attempt to do his hair. It’s cute, and since I know it won’t sting his eyes, I do everything I can to applaud him for his efforts.

“Good job Lil’ Lewie. Oh, you’re going to be such a clean boy!”

Now that he likes soaping up in the tub, he’s equally interested in helping put lotion, diaper cream, Vaseline, and everything else on himself too. This week before going to a pool party, I decided to rub Sun Block all over him. Of course, it didn’t take long before he wanted to join in. Like always, I put a little dab in his hand, and before I knew it, he was rubbing it all over his chest and belly. The only difference this time is that he was wearing a tank top bathing suit. Thus, his tank top was nicely covered (and protected) by SPF 50.

Oh, you’ve got to love little ones and their innocence about the world. Truly.

Day Date with Hubby

I have not had a “day date” alone with my husband since Lil’ Lewie was born 22 months ago. Sure we’ve done a few things at night (movies, restaurants, roller-skating) but a day date was different.

It all started when my sister-in-law volunteered to take Lil’ Lewie to a toddler birthday party that was held yesterday. “I know he’d have a lot of fun with the other kids,” she said. “What do you think?”

Lewie and I looked at each other and took a moment to bring our jaws back up to the floor. “Really? You don’t mind taking him for the day?” I asked again because it sounded too good to be true.

“Really. Plus, Sarah (his four year-old cousin) would love spending time with him,” she answered.

If my sister-in-law volunteered to watch Lil’ Lewie a year ago, I would have declined the offer. Parenting was still new to me, and I had a hard time entrusting anyone else with the responsibility of watching him. Now that he was older and not so fragile, my worries dissipated.
“Sounds great!” I exclaimed. “What time does he need to be ready?”

My husband and I could hardly contain our enthusiasm. Sure we just had a wonderful trip to the Bahamas, but we couldn’t actually do anything together. One of us had to watch Lil’ Lewie while the other one was given free time to read, relax on the beach, swim, or soak up some rays. Now we could do whatever we wanted TOGETHER!

Like two teenagers planning our first date, we quickly went over our list of possible options—beach, hiking, Margaritas, outdoor concerts, amusement parks—and yeah, I almost forgot—sex.

After some scrutiny, we chose our day plan in this order.

--Lunch out on the patio of the GW Tavern/Restaurant

--A long hike at Steep Rock Reservation

--Intimate time at home

The plan, to us anyways, was a dream come true. My husband had never been to the GW Restaurant, and I couldn’t wait for him to try the food and see the exquisite view from the patio. Hiking was a great plan because Lil’ Lewie was still too young to go with us, and at a healthy 33 lbs. we weren’t about to try carrying him on our backs or in a sling. And finally, after some much needed emotional bonding during lunch and our hike, it would only be right to then have some physical intimacy as well.

During our lunch and our hike, we reconnected on both an emotional and spiritual level. We talked about our marriage, about our first dates, our trips, our honeymoon, our Lil’ Lewie, and the prospect of having more kids. We talked about life, death, change, hopes, dreams, and fears. Our time together, in essence, reminded us of why we became best friends and chose each other as life partners to begin with. I was surprised by how easily our conversation flowed, and for once out of twenty-two months, we really had something more meaningful to say to each other instead of the usual…

Me: “Are you going to help me with the dishes?”

Husband: “After I finish watching my show.”

Me: “You know you’re going to fall asleep in that recliner and not help me with the dishes.”

Husband: “I promise I will do the dishes. Okay, Nagarella?”

When we pulled up into our driveway after the hike, Lew’s sister was already in the driveway waiting for us. Lil’ Lewie jumped out of the car like a wildman and spoke in such animated gibberish that I was certain he was recounting the events of the day.

“I guess it looks like the sex is out,” my husband whispered, sounding obviously disappointed.

“Remember, we’re married now and have a kid,” I teased, “we’ll try again when Lil’ Lewie is grown and moves away to college.”

Unclaimed Kids

Yesterday, Lil’ Lewie and I went to the beach (really it’s a lake called Burr Pond) with my sister-in-law, her boyfriend, and her four year-old princess. (She truly believes she is one too.) It was a rather busy Friday afternoon, and the lake was hopping with kids—some running around with pool noodles, foam bats, Super Soakers, and other toys that could easily be placed in Wal-Mart’s Blaster Toy category. (Yes, it exists.) I looked around and noticed that Lil’ Lew was only one of two kids that actually brought a pail of sand toys. Go figure.

Okay, so right away, I knew we were in for some wild mania at the lake—tons of kids running around hitting each other with foam bats and pool noodles will usually lead to some kind of injury. Sure there was a lifeguard on duty, but how she could keep track of so many little ones running around was anybody’s guess.

To avoid the wild crowd stationed by the large rock (like I said, an injury seemed inevitable), we decided to play on the side of the beach with less action. At first, it appeared that Lil’ Lew had made an older friend in red swim trunks. However, as he started to push my little boy and mumbled under his breath, “No, get lost. I was playing here. This is my sandcastle,” I realized the “friend” was more like a mortal enemy. Of course, if Lil’ Lewie had been wrecking or touching an actual sandcastle or something made in the sand, I would have reprimanded him to leave it alone. Instead, this little boy must have been hallucinating because there wasn’t even a mound of sand near him that could be identified as something that he made.

I immediately broke up the pushing, but then scoped the beach to find the parent. Amazingly, there didn’t appear to be one. Who was watching this little boy? The little boy continued to be a nuisance as he whispered insults under his breadth. “Why do you guys have to play here anyway? This is my area. You guys are stupid.” Since he said it rather softly, I didn’t think it was intended for us to hear, so we ignored it and continued to play, giving the little boy enough space as possible for his imaginary turf.

As my sister-in-law’s boyfriend jumped into the lake and started to play with the “princess,” he suddenly drew an admiring crowd of little kids who wanted to play with him also. Some started to whack him with pool noodles while others tried tapping him and running away as quickly as possible. It was all in good fun, and my sister-in-law’s boyfriend didn’t seem to mind playing with everyone, but again, the question arose once more, “Where are the parents?” It was obvious that these kids were dying for some attention. Some were playing a little too roughly, but again, “Where are the parents?” Was it our job to tell these kids that they were being a little too rough and aggressive in the water?

Lil’ Lewie tried making friends with a three year-old little girl. She proudly put three fingers up when I asked her her age. She didn’t seem to be too interested in Lil’ Lewie when she heard his baby gibberish. Instead, she passed us out and started wadding in the deeper water. Not having any flotation devices, I became nervous and felt like it was my duty to watch her. Once again, I scoped the beach to see if it looked like anyone was watching her, and amazingly, I couldn’t pick out anyone.

After three hours at the lake, Lil’ Lewie and I decided to leave. (It was a warm day, and even though he was wearing sunscreen, I was a little worried about him getting too much sun exposure.) I didn’t envy the lifeguard who was now standing by the rock looking like she was going to have to lecture someone. Apparently, it was her job to watch anyone age 3 and up who decided to go into the water. She was the new childcare provider with an adult to child ratio of 1:120.

Friday Fun Flick: "Boyz will be Boyz"

Welcome to Friday Fun Flicks.

Every Friday I will be posting a fun/amusing video clip of my Lil' Lewie. For me, it's a great way to share the fun I'm having raising my little boy while recording these precious moments.

Heaven knows they grow up way too fast!

Cookie

Okay, I’ll admit…I am a neurotic mom. Ever since I started seeing a naturopath and reading about today’s food, I stress about things like sugar, high fructose corn syrup, genetically modified seeds, etc. Basically, everything that I grew up eating as a kid is now labeled to be bad—it’s nonorganic and contains unnecessary sugar, artificial colors and flavors etc. I suppose I’m here today to tell my story, and I suppose Lil’ Lewie can eat it too without devastating, lifelong consequences, but…my guilty mommy gene cringes when he eats these foods.

At home, we subscribe to eating as much organic food as possible. My pantry is filled with organic cereals, snacks, pasta, soups, etc. Our refrigerator is stacked with organic eggs, fruits and vegetables along with Stonyfield Yogurt, almond milk, soymilk, and goat’s milk. And our freezer is stacked with organic frozen fruits, vegetables, and meats with no antibiotics or growth hormones or stimulants added. (No, we’re not vegetarian, but we do limit our meat consumption. Salmon and chicken are the meats we eat the most frequently.)

Anyways, as much as I try to make sure our family eats well, we still have those days where we give in to temptation and go out for pizza or for a hamburger that most likely came from a corn fed cow pumped up with steroids. It’s an ongoing battle, and the days we lose our organic battle is when we visit others who don’t subscribe to the philosophy or don’t know about organic foods altogether.

A week ago, my husband came home and told me that Lil’ Lewie learned the word “cookie” from his sister. He was proud that our little boy added a new word to his vocabulary, especially since our Lil’ Lewie, at 22 months, doesn’t say much beyond the common mama, dada, and baba. I know I should have been proud or maybe even a tad bit happy, but the word “cookie” echoed in my ears and made me cringe. My reaction was almost the same reaction as if he was taught to say one of George Carlin’s seven dirty words that you can never say on TV. (Again, I confessed earlier that I am neurotic.)

My husband saw my reaction and became perturbed. “What? You have a problem now with the word cookie? You know we’re not going to have our little boy grow up as some twig and berry eating freak?”

“I know. I know,” I muttered back, “but couldn’t he have been taught to say the word snack or treat instead? I don’t want our son to turn around and start asking for cookies every time we eat. I don’t want him to grow up with the same bad eating habits I had growing up.” Yes, my bad eating habits included eating a bag of Doritos or Double Stuffed Oreos in one sitting for breakfast while my mom wasn’t looking.

My husband and I haven’t discussed the word since, and actually, Lil’ Lewie hasn’t said it out loud…at least not to me. Did I worry for nothing? Yes, I think I did. As much as I’d like Lil’ Lewie to grow up eating the best, most nourishing food possible, I do need to realize that just like us, he won’t have access to the best food everywhere he goes, nor will he want to eat healthy 100% of the time. I guess the best advice I can give myself and him is to remember that doing things in moderation (including eating not so healthy stuff) is key.

Do you believe schools should offer healthy food choices to our children? Please see the petition for the Child Nutrition Act Reauthorization.

Yes Dear, I'll Buy You ANOTHER Wedding Band

For Father’s Day, I bought my husband a typical shirt and a little trinket as a gift from Lil’ Lewie to Daddy. However, this year, I decided to buy him a gift from me as well…a wedding band.

It’s not like he didn’t have a wedding band. He did. About a year ago, he lost it. I think the conversation went something like this…

Husband: “Annette, have you seen my wedding band?”

Me: “No, you better not have lost it. Lewie…did you lose it?”

Husband: (Silence.)

I gave him a year to find it. I gave him a year to make him think about what he did and repent, and then finally, I gave it a year to realize that I should just suck it up and buy him another one. After all, although I never lost my wedding ring or my engagement ring, I have lost other sentimental things in my life. Well sort of…

For Father’s Day, I bought my husband a stainless steel personalized spinner band that could be engraved on the outside and also on the inside. While I’m not a big advocate for marketing products on my blog, I do have to say that I love the ring. On the outside in clear, black, legible letters, it says Annette & Lew with our wedding date, and on the inside, it says our son’s name, Lewie Jayden, with his birth date.

No, it’s not the typical wedding band, but he loves it. It’s masculine, it’s affordable (less than $100), and it’s one of a kind. If he loses this one, now I can make Lil’ Lewie give him a guilt trip right along with me since his name's on it too!