I Remember When...

Losing my Aunty Sarah was difficult.  Of course, I no longer wanted her to suffer, and I'm happy that she lived a long 86 years.  It's me and my own selfishness that wanted her around for a while longer.  With her death, we lost her generation in our family and all the wisdom that comes with her generation.  She spoke Hungarian, knew Hungarian culture, and could tell us about her parents who grew up in Hungry.

My sadness for her loss, for the first time, was twofold.  First, I wanted her to live longer for me, so I could learn more about her life and create new memories.  However, this time, I also wanted her to live longer for my little boy.  I wanted him to know her and love her in the same special way that I love her.  At age two, I know he won't have any recollection, and to him, she will just be "the lady" in our photo album--this was my major source of grief.

Today, in order to give myself closure to this week's events and say goodbye to my Aunty Sarah, I am writing a list of all my memories.  I hope to share this list one day with my little boy, so that she will mean something more to him than just "the lady" in some pictures.

I remember when...
You invited five year-old me into your home and served me tea like a big girl.  I got to put in my own milk and sugar and be part of all the grown-up conversations between you, my mom, and grandma at the table.

You let me look at your People and Star magazines and watch your favorite soaps with you.

I remember when...
You played with me every time I came to your house.  We put together jigsaw puzzles, played the Triangle Peg Game, and played my favorite board games, Clue and Sorry.

You came with my mom and me to Orlando, Florida to see Walt Disney World and Epcot Center. I was only seven, and it was my first trip on a plane.  You made it fun by clapping and celebrating both the take off and the landing.  Oh and how you loved all the rides at both of the parks.

I remember when...
You came to all my birthday parties and all of my dance recitals.  Yes, for twenty years, you came to support my tap dancing and always brought me flowers.  One year, you surprised me, by buying me a special ceramic jewelry box with tap shoes--I never saw anything like it!

You came to all of my graduations and graduation parties--high school, college, grad school.  You were proud of my accomplishments and taught me to always believe in myself and to strive to further my education.

I remember when...
You taxied me around when I went to college.  I was living on a college campus near you and didn't have a car during those first three years.  If I ever needed to go to the store, to the mall, or to any of my community service projects, you'd always pick me up and bring me.  In fact, you'd pick me up and let me drive your car.

I made my first big salary after getting a promotion at work.  I was proud that I had the money to take you and mom to Boston for the weekend, so you could see Quincy Market, the authentic "Cheers" restaurant, and the Boston Common for the first time.  We also went on the trolley tour of the Freedom Trail, which was your favorite part of the trip.

I remember when...
You came with mom and me to craft fairs, especially the ever famous Pumpkin Festival near our house.

We played croquet during all our family picnics, and we also enjoyed playing some rounds of mini-golf in the summer.

I remember when...
You got excited because you heard that I applied for a Dean position at a college near you.  You wanted me to get the position so badly so that I'd be in your neighborhood.  Before even getting the job (which I never did), you already offered that I could stay at your place anytime, especially if the weather was bad and too treacherous to drive home.

You met my husband for the first time.  You said that he reminded you of your dear, beloved husband Raymond in so many ways.

I remember when...
You came to my wedding and wore a beautiful purple dress.  You looked beautiful and so happy in all of our wedding photos.  (This dress was the one you chose for your burial.)

You came to the hospital to see Little Lewie who was just born into this world a few hours before.  You held him and cradled him with so much pride and love in your heart.

I remember when...
You bought Little Lewie special little books, toys, and even a rocking chair that he loves more than anything right now.  You always spoiled him, no matter the holiday.

You came to the Two Lew Barbeque and looked so happy and vibrant.  You were a special part of my husband's 40th and Little Lewie's 2nd birthday celebration.

I remember when...
You came to our church's annual Four Season's Fair this September.  It was our last outing together, and once again, you enjoyed spending time with us and Little Lewie who always had a special place in your heart.

Aunty Sarah, please know that you will be missed more than any words can ever say.  I will keep all these memories with me always and share them with my little boy.  Thank you for being so good to me...you were our angel on earth.  I love you.