Happy Wife, Happy Life!

I have a wooden block that I display in my kitchen window that says, "Happy Wife, Happy Life!"  I had to buy it because I think (and I'm totally being subjective here) it's true.  As the primary financial advisor, bookkeeper, errand runner, housekeeper, and caregiver of the family...ehem...it's wise to keep me happy.  If something's off kilter or I start feeling unappreciated, you better believe I have something to say about it, and the angst ends up disrupting the normalcy of our daily household routine.  Simply put...it's wise to keep Mama happy. 

Over the years, the "rules" for keeping me happy have changed.  When we first married in 2006, for example, most of our "squabbles" resulted from me not feeling we were spending enough time together.  I verbalized my frustrations all right, and there was no question that I had the following expectations.

• Saturdays were to be "our night" and not a night for band practice.
• Band practice was to be limited to no more than two days per week, and these days were to be planned so I wasn't left sitting at home by myself without plans of my own.
• Curfew was midnight.  (Anything later required a phone call and an explanation, so I didn't worry.)

Yes, as a newly married couple, we were still juggling the balancing act of keeping our independence and identities while trying to put our relationship first.  As someone who had given up her "girls' night out" of dancing until 2 a.m., I understandably wanted my husband to give up his late night band practices with the guys, which involved some hanging out and partying.

Now, five years and one child later, our relationship is in a different place, and our "squabbles" are about other things like household finances, bills, and free time.  Now, to make me happy, I have a new set of expectations.

• To save as much money as we can for an emergency fund, our son's future, and day trips/vacations.
• To give each other an equal amount of "free time" away from the house for "recharging" after a long week of work, errands, and childrearing.
• To schedule much needed family time on the weekends (especially since our time together is limited on weekdays).
• To assist with household chores, like laundry, vacuuming, etc. etc.

The days of worrying about who's out late partying are long gone, and instead, we find ourselves trying to balance our needs around our very hectic schedule of daily living.  A "happy wife" for me translates as having a husband that helps out around the house, watches Little Lewie from time to time so I can go out shopping or take a long hot bath, and stays committed to saving money so that we can plan for a solid future together.  Any interruptions in this very fragile plan, and Wifey Poo becomes cranky.  Ultra cranky.

Yes, in these five short years of marriage, I've learned some valuable lessons.  I've learned that priorities change,  relationships evolve, and that a "happily ever after" doesn't come without it's fair share of squabbles, tests, and compromise.  We're not a perfect couple, but we do have two very important things in common--we love each other, and we love Little Lewie.  As long as we keep these two very important realites the mission and central focus of our marriage, Wife and life should be happy, very happy.