Spending Time with Little Guy

Okay, I've put yesterday up on a pedestal for quite some time now.  In fact, I've been fantasizing about the day since last semester...

Last semester I found myself getting into the "we need more money" rut.  Our bills were tight, and we had a couple of large (both planned and unplanned) expenses over the summer that sunk us financially.  Taking on additional work seemed to be the answer, but suddenly the few extra hours turned sadly into a few extra days per week.  In the end, I would have my weekends with Little Lewie and Thursdays with him, but even on those days, I had to make time for correcting papers, which meant my husband or my mom would have to take over. 

Yesterday was just a plain, ordinary Tuesday (not a holiday or a vacation day), but it was MY Tuesday.  It was my first Tuesday since last semester (17 weeks ago) that I could finally be at home with my little guy again...just me and him and no one else.  This semester I accepted a new position, which will allow me to be home with my little one on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and the weekends again.  (Yes, I will still have to work a little from home and answer emails on those days, but still, it will be such an improvement from last semester.) 

Yesterday was really the start of this new schedule, and I just couldn't be more thrilled.  Being able to watch my little one learn and grow is when I'm at my happiest, and yesterday, I was one happy mama.  Now...if I could just fast forward over this day to Thursday when I'm at home with him again...

Yesterday, I even enjoyed watching my little guy sleep!

Monday's Mommy Moment: Everyone Loves the First Snow

Last Sunday, we had the first real snowfall of the season.  It came in the form of a mini blizzard, with snow difts of 20 inches or more and lost power for many homes.  My husband, Little Lewie, and I, being sick and incapable of doing anything else, watched the snow swirl around outside from our windows. It was a little scary, but still, it was beautiful.

There's something magical about the first snow of the year.  It takes away the dark, naked, barren landscape and makes everything bright, sparkly, and pure.  As we stayed inside to recover from our flu/stomach virus(and Little Lewie to recover from his nasty cold), our little boy stood by the door complaining.  "Outside, outside," he'd moan, grabbing our hands and leading us to the door.  Evidently, he remembered playing in the snow last year, and he was determined to make it happen again this year.

At other times, he'd grab his shoes and put them in our hands.  "Outside," he'd mandate, while trying to make me slip the shoe on his foot.  I loved his persistence.  Since Daddy was the first of us to get sick (and spread it to me), he was the first to feel better, and so he took Little Lewie to the park several days in a row where they hiked and tromped through snow, threw snowballs, and and ran around chasing each other.

Finally this Saturday, almost a full week later, I had a chance to join them.  It was close to 50 degrees out, and even though a lot of snow had melted, our little boy still enjoyed stomping, kicking, and playing in the slush.  We didn't get a chance to go sledding yet, but it's on our agenda for the next snowstorm, which I'm sure will be equally beautiful.  (They always are up until March when I'm ready for the tulips and daffodils to come out.) 

A Perfectionist's List of Resolutions for the New Year

I'm a definite Type A personality.  I'm hard on myself a lot, and I'm a perfectionist.  I know this is a part of my personality that I need to work on, but it's hard to dismiss it when it has helped me earn much in life.  For example, being a perfectionist helped me get excellent grades in college, scholarships, my teaching and administrative career, and, I think, my great husband.  Still, there are times when my desire to be "perfect" gets in the way or gets me needlessly upset, especially when life throws those unexpected curve balls that interfere with everything.  Instead of being someone who is strong and can handle these challenges, I end up being the one ready to have a nervous breakdown because these challenges weren't part of "the plan."

As a perfectionist, I LOVE New Year's Resolutions.  You see, for me, starting a New Year is all part of my plan to throw away the old year and start a new "perfect" year.  Yes, every year around this time, I create a list for myself (usually of 10 to 15 New Year's Resolutions) that I believe are vital toward my happiness.  Last year, they were anything from losing weight and being healthy to being the best mom ever to being the best wife, daughter, friend, etc. etc.  For the most part, I actually kept up with most of these resolutions until maybe August when other, unexpected life situations came up that made my perfect world turn into one huge belly flop (you know--the one that stings enormously and even makes you get water up your nose.)

Perhaps one year I'll actually surprise myself and dismiss New Year's resolutions altogether.  Then I'll be forced to let go of this desire to live a "perfect life," and I'll actually teach myself to just "go with the flow."  Unfortunately, this isn't the year.  This year, I'm still making New Year's resolutions, but I've decided to cut back, and even more, I've decided to make them about helping me curb my desire to be the best.  Here they go...

1.  To be a kinder and gentler person with myself and others.  

I'm hard on myself, and because of this, I have the same unrealistic expectations for others.  This, to me, is not a good quality since it can make me seem judgmental and even a little bit critical.  My husband over the years has created names for me and this behavior.  I've been called "a judgmental nerd" and "the fun police" (e.g.  "Watch out Little Lewie, here comes the fun police.  Don't let her catch you having too much fun.")

2.  To be grateful and to continue my gratitude journal.
I found I was less envious of others and more appreciative when I wrote in my gratitude journal every few days.  Once I stopped writing, I found myself returning to my old ways--wanting more money, a bigger house, a better job...the list goes on and on.  Oh, I don't want to give up on particular dreams, but, at the same time, I don't want to forget about all the blessings, both small and big, we've been given as a family.

3.  To be a good mother and then a good wife and daughter.
I had a similar New Year's resolution last year, but I gave up the word "best" for "good."  If I use the word "best" I'm comparing myself to all the other mothers, wives, and daughters out there.  I have to be realistic with myself...I'm not always going to be "the best" mom.  I can't always expect to get a gold star of achievement.  In fact, during these past few days that I've been sick, I haven't been "the best."  How can I when I'm hunched over in pain?   My goal is to be a good, patient, and loving mom as much and as often as I can.

4.  To practice good health.
Again, I changed my verbiage here.  Last year my goal was to lose exactly 20 pounds and to be in stellar health.  Well, I have to pat myself on the back for losing weight, but I haven't exactly did my best to eat a well balanced diet, get enough sleep, or follow a regular exercise routine.  I can try to do more in this area, but again, realizing that I won't be "stellar."

5.  To create a budget we can live with.
Last year, I didn't do well with budgeting at all.  I don't think I had one in place, and still, I had unrealistic expectations about how much money I wanted us to save.  Instead of saving money, we actually took a lot out of our savings.  I have to be thankful that both my husband and I have jobs, but at the same time, I need to plan for life's unexpected moments, so that I don't have a mental breakdown when we need a new transmission, new tires, a new furnace, etc. etc.

6.  To work on my e-book.

This year I came up with a plan to write an e-book to help high school students plan for college success.  I've completed about half of my project, but like always, life does get in the way.  To me, both this project and my blogging are my hobbies.  I'll always do my best to make time for them, but I also need to recognize that I need to keep a healthy balance and understand when other priorities have to come first.

7.  To savor life's both big and small moments.

Amen. This is something I seem to forget when I'm constantly planning for a perfect future.

Okay, I still have a pretty long list, but I thank you for taking this journey with me.  Whether you have some New Year's resolutions or none at all, I wish you many, many blessings in 2011 and always.  One thing that I will never forget about 2010 is all the great friends I made through blogging.  And this wasn't even on my New Year's resolution list.  To all of my friends, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your lives, your advice, and your kindness.

These Final Days of 2010

After a wonderful Christmas, the sniffles started, then the headache, and then the all out chills and body aches.  Oh yes, while we were having a blizzard outside, a storm was brewing inside the house too.  My little boy started with a bad cold; then, my husband complained of flu like symptoms, and now I have the flu.  So, the three of us for the past few days have been shut inside our germ infested house wallowing in self pity. 

To be honest, we have a lot to be thankful for...neither my husband nor I have to go to work this week.  It's just that we feel tired, miserable, lazy, and overall, beat-up.  My poor little boy, proclaiming "Outside!  Outside!" every few minutes is wrestling with cabin fever, while I'm wrestling with a dirty, disorganized house that needs some desperate TLC.  For now, my only hope is that this bug leaves our systems soon so that we can begin picking up the left over pieces of 2010 and start the New Year with a brand new, clean, organized slate.

In honor of Wordless Wednesday, which I know I've already said more than my fair share of words, here are two pictures that describe this week's events.  (No more words...I promise.)

Highlights of Christmas 2010

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house were old toys all over the living room that mommy had to put away to make room for the new.

I had to tiptoe putting the Santa presents underneath our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree because my little boy hadn't been sleeping well--not since we inflated his Christmas Caroler friends outside our window.  (He's afraid of the larger than life Santa with his Frosty and Reindeer Friend.  Even though we haven't inflated them since the first week of December, he's still afraid...)   

Then, when it seemed not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, my little boy woke up.  "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" he shouted in his typical past midnight routine.  He was screeching, which could only mean one thing...he was thinking about those spooky inflatable Christmas Carolers again. 

My husband rescued him from his crib and brought Lil' Lewie downstairs..."...but what if he sees his presents?" I asked, worried that Christmas morning was going to be completely ruined.

Daddy decided not to put any lights on, and so he put Lil' Lewie in his playpen where he fell fast asleep with Daddy lying down next to him on the couch.  Yay!  Christmas was saved!

The next morning, Lil' Lewie woke up, thrilled to see presents by his playpen, and he played, and he played, and he played...

Then, if life wasn't already very, very good, I made brownies and let little guy lick the batter...

And finally, after visiting with both my family and my husband's family, I got a few pictures of my little guy in his Christmas outfit.

Here's to a wonderful holiday that honestly couldn't have gone any better...All the anticipation and days of preparation were well worth it.  If my little guy didn't know what to expect this year, he now sure does know about the magic of Christmas. 

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

Thanksgiving Thursday

Today, only a few days before Christmas, I thought it'd be nice to join Mama's Little Chick and do one of her famous Thanksgiving Thursday posts.  At this time of year, it's easy to get caught up in the insanity of it all.   I become so obsessed with wrapping gifts, budgeting (or not budgeting) bank accounts, and last minute cleaning and baking, I start to forget the important things.  I need to sit back, relax, and know I will get everything done...

1. I'm thankful for the love and support of my family and friends.  I mean I'm really thankful.  Each of my relatives or my friends elicit a special memory in my life and each support me in different ways.  For example, I have mom friends that offer "me-time" and toddler advice, single friends that inspire me to get dressed up and want to go out on the town, college friends that remind me of the antics we pulled as teenagers, work friends that challenge my intellect, a mom that inspires me to be generous like her, and a husband that (usually) brings calm and balance to my world.  I'm thankful for each of their roles and how they, without even knowing it, help me to be my best every day.

2. I'm thankful for a warm house.  Yesterday, I literally ran back and forth from my car as I was bringing in last minute shopping bags filled with Christmas presents.  I wasn't running because I was in a hurry; I was running because it was COLD, and with a wind on top of the cold, it felt like below zero temperatures.  I can't say enough about the feeling of stepping inside a warm house to let your fingers, nose, and toes thaw.

3.  I'm thankful for opposites.  At this time of year, during the darkest and coldest days, it's easy to get into a slump.  I find myself going to bed much earlier at night, not wanting to go outside much, and not having a whole lot of energy.  Without the holidays, I think "seasonal affective disorder", for many of us, would start much earlier.  Still, without the dark days of winter, I would forget to appreciate the warm, glowing days of spring and summer.   You need the dark to appreciate the light; you need the rain to appreciate the sun; you need the tears to appreciate the laughs, and really I do appreciate it all.

4.  I'm thankful for living next door to my mom.  My husband and I live in a duplex or two-family house where we live on one side and my mother lives on the other.  (It's the same house I grew up in.  At that time, my mom and I lived on one side and my grandparents lived on the other.  Now we live on my grandparents' side.)  When my husband and I were getting married, I wasn't sure about moving here.  For one, there was a part of me that wanted "my own" house, and also I wasn't sure if I'd be able to live where my grandparents did--would it make me sad all the time because I miss them so much?  Still, I'm so glad we tried out this living arrangement!  When my husband wants to visit family or friends, I have an instant friend next door to visit myself, and...now that Little Lewie's here...we're always going next door to visit Gramy.  He loves going back and forth between our two apartments, and he's become so close to my mom like I became close to my grandparents.

5.  I'm thankful for my little Christmas helper this year.  My little guy, for the first time, has helped me put up some Christmas decorations.  He still doesn't quite understand what's going on, but I sure am enjoying trying to explain it all to him. One of my favorite days was showing him some of my old Christmas tree ornaments.  I gladly took out my favorite--Mr. Peanut Elf.   I've owned him since I was in elementary school, and even to this day, he still makes me chuckle.  He's got a little felt hat with pom pom for the top of his peanut head, pipe cleaner arms and legs, and one of his pipe cleaner arms is holding a pipe cleaner candy cane.  Oh, and of course his face is a simple smiley face with a dot nose drawn in marker.  I LOVE IT!

Happy Holidays to Everyone.  With Love Always.   XOXOXOXO.

Top Ten Tuesday: Christmas Bloopers Revealed

This week is one of those times of mild insanity.  Last minute presents are bought, gifts are waiting to be wrapped, Christmas cards still need to be mailed, and by the time we should be getting ready to eat dinner, I'm passed out on the couch, too tired to lift myself up.  (Even my little two year old can't seem to wake me from this coma, even though, lately, he likes to crawl on top of me and smoosh his face into mine...)

Yes, right now, I'm doing everything I can to hold it all together.  I smile on the outside, but on the inside, I feel like screaming...perhaps even running away from it all.  Still, since running away isn't an option, my only other survival technique is to let things go and have a good laugh.  Yes, this year, I'm pretty sure this Christmas will be far from perfect, but hey, at least once it's over, I know I can have a good laugh about it.

Here are a list of top ten Christmas bloopers to lift your spirits and tickle your funny bone.  Remember if things don't go exactly as planned, you can always blame the Christmas elves.  Why not?  Since Christmas is a holiday of magic and imagination, anything can happen...

10.  You have one of those really bad gift wrapping days.  You know, those days when you can't measure the right amount of paper for the life of you.   Every single time, you either overestimate the amount of paper or underestimate.  Thus, the end result is a present that looks like it was wrapped by a two year old.  (Hey...what a great excuse.  Yeah, I was letting my two year old wrap presents--with scissors and all.  It works.  Don't judge.)

9.  The blasted Christmas tree won't stand straight.  No matter how many times you readjust the stand or turn the tree around to face a different side, you still have the Leaning Tower of Pisa standing, no leaning, directly in front of you.  The answer is to overcompensate with Christmas ornaments.  Perhaps smothering the tree with lights, bulbs, garland, and tinsel will do the trick...Now instead of guests whispering about your leaning tree, they can snicker at the hideous decorations.  Great conversation piece!

8.  You buy your Aunt Gertrude another lovely Christmas sweater again, only this time she calls you out on it..."Don't you think I have enough Christmas sweaters by now.  You've only bought one for me...let's see...every Christmas for the last twenty years..."

7.  You get caught re-gifting.  Let's explain.  You see, you were very smart in making sure that the re-gift goes to a different person, but your child sells you out..."Mommy...didn't Aunt Gertrude buy you that candle and you said it smelled funny?"  (Right from the mouth of babes...)

6.  You drink too much brandy eggnog, and now you've decided to perform some Christmas karaoke, only you don't know the words to most of the songs and there's no karaoke machine.

5.  You literally fall asleep during midnight mass--head tilted backward, mouth open, drool and all.  Or, instead, you perform the Christmas bob.  Yes, throughout mass, your head is bobbing away as you repeatedly catch yourself falling asleep and try to reposition your head to the "alert" pose again and again.

4.  Your child discovers his "Santa presents" weeks before Christmas in the trunk of your car.  "Are those my presents?" he gasps.  "Why yes," you answer.  "Santa's having surgery this Christmas, so he can't deliver them himself.  I offered to drive up to the North Pole to get them."  (Hey, in this scenario, you come out looking heroic.  Yes, you helped Santa and saved the day by making that grueling trip to the North Pole.  Score!)

3.  Your cute inflatable, Christmas Carolers lawn ornament is the source of night terrors for your two year old.  Ever since he first saw them inflate, he's been deathly afraid of them to the point where it causes him to wake up in the middle of the night screeching while pointing to the outside window.  (Wait a minute...this is really happening to me right now.  Not funny!)

2.   At one a.m. when the little ones are waiting for Santa all snug in their beds, you're wrapping gifts only to learn that you've run out of Christmas paper....What's left?  Well, you decide to go with a "Happy Birthday" theme.  After all, Christmas is the birth of Jesus. 

1.  You start handing out gifts to all of your relatives when you realize...gulp...you forgot to buy a gift for your Great Uncle Arthur.   Ordinarily you would never lie on such a sacred day, but how can you tell him that you actually forgot him this year?   "Oh, Uncle Arthur...it looks like we may have left your present at the store.  I knew we should have double checked our shopping cart before leaving Wal-mart.  Damn!"

Remember Christmas will come again next year, so if things don't go exactly as planned, you always have the chance to make things right in 2011.   I hope it's a happy holiday for you no matter what bloopers may come your way...