Teaching Kindness

This generation of students worries me.  For the past ten years, I've been teaching first-year college students, and as each year goes by, I receive less and less respect from them.  Still, this year by far has been the worst--a total breakdown of respect and lack for authority.

I used to shrug this behavior off, but now that I am a mom, I worry.  I worry about this new "culture" that is arising and how my son will be affected by it.  For those of you who are still uncertain as to what I am talking about, let me explain.

When I went to college (in the 90's), we treated our professors with respect.  We didn't dare speak or talk over them while they were talking, we never talked back, and we never, ever, ever, dared to cross the line and suggest that an assignment was STUPID.  They had authority, and we wanted to do our best by paying attention and learning as much as we could (even if we didn't like every single assignment.)  Sometimes we'd even give our professors gifts at the end of the class to show our appreciation for their help.

Today I deal with a new mindset.  Most (not all) students need constant reminding that they are not to talk, text, listen to music, or play with their cell phones, i-pods, or laptops in class.  Every day, I must constantly remind them that their education comes first and that they are paying top dollar for tuition.  When students miss information because they are too busy gabbing with their friends, they interrupt me and demand that I repeat it for them.

This is just the beginning.  Now students feel they can voice their opinions at any time that they want as well.  If they don't like an assignment, they very forwardly ask, "Why do we have to do this?" and sometimes they make remarks out loud in class like "This assignment's stupid!"  or "I don't understand why we have to do this anyway.  I'm not doing it!"

In some cases, their reactions remind me of my two year old.  However, instead of taking an all out tantrum because they don't have the vocabulary to express themselves, they use their words to attack, be cutting, and show disrespect.

In the long run, their grades resemble the effort they chose or didn't choose to put forth in this class, but there is something about this generation that really, truly concerns me.  That one thing is their lack of kindness. 

A few weeks ago, I asked a student if he wouldn't mind standing up on his chair to turn on the video projector, which was mounted to the ceiling.   He was sitting beneath it, and I couldn't stand up on the chair because I was wearing a dress.  He very pointedly answered, "No.  You do it!"

I looked around the room and asked if someone would volunteer, but everyone remained silent.  This mean student had set the bar as to how everyone else was going to react.  If he wasn't going to help me, then they certainly weren't going to do it either. 

Embarrassed by the situation (and quite honestly shocked), I offered extra credit.  Imagine.  I offered extra credit just so that someone could show some kindness and compassion!  At this point, I finally had a few volunteers, but did I really have to go to this extreme?  Do students today feel like they are not going to help someone else unless they know they'll get something out of it?

I'm disturbed.  I have more to tell (perhaps in another post), but I am worried that the children of Generation Y, for some reason, have not learned about kindness.  They haven't grown out of the two year old mentality that says, "it's all about me."  It makes me sad, and I wonder if this is just a stage that they will grow out of or if this is a larger implication that we may be heading for a "dog eat dog world."

If I can choose one major character trait for my little boy to take with him throughout life, it would be kindness--to treat others the way we wish to be treated, to show love, empathy, and compassion for our fellow neighbors.  I don't expect all my students to pay attention in class.  I don't expect that they like every assignment.  I don't expect that they thank me even though I try to be a sincere, kind, and compassionate mentor for them.  I do, hope, however, that they reconsider their current etiquette and treatment of others.  After all,  love and kindness are truly what makes the world go around.  Without it, does life really have meaning?