Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Frustrations with Dieting

I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy with Little Lewie. The doctors weren't concerned because I was still getting a lot of exercise by walking everyday, but once I had my little boy, I slowly learned that losing the weight was going to be an uphill battle. For one, I only lost twenty pounds after having him. Then, when my milk flow didn't come in right away, my little boy became more accustomed to the bottle. I still nursed him in the mornings when he was sleepy, but the rest of the day I would pump my milk. For some reason, this routine of mostly pumping didn't allow me to lose any additional weight.

My weight didn't start coming off until Little Lewie 1) started sleeping through the night, and 2) became more mobile. Once my son started getting a full night of rest, I was able to sleep too, which meant I could get up in the morning before him, feel refreshed, and do a half an hour Pilates routine to work my muscles, especially my mid section. Then, once he started getting mobile, I was definitely burning calories chasing him around the playground and going up and down the slides myself.


It took me two long years to lose the baby weight (double the time it took me to put in on), and although I'm satisfied with my weight for now, I've been known to fluctuate and sometimes go on "yo-yo" diets. The winter is quickly approaching, and I can guarantee that I'll be at least another ten pounds heavier before the spring arrives...it all comes with the territory of loving food and having a 30 year-old's metabolism.


For anyone who's on a diet, especially a "yo-yo" diet that just doesn't seem to be working. This top ten is for you...


10. Your new diet has required you to stock up on health foods--low calorie fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, etc. (You know the drill.) Since you can't eat anything fun, other than the caramel flavored rice cakes in the pantry that taste like cardboard, you've decided that no one can eat anything fun. Thus, the family revolt begins...


9. You catch yourself at the scale constantly. You need to have reassurance that this diet is working NOW. Didn't your new diet PROMISE that you would lose five pounds per day? (Sounds unrealistic but this is where hopeful optimism kicks in...)


8. In order to feel better about your diet, you make sure to rub it in the faces or all your friends and coworkers. Hey, since you can't have what they're eating, you can at least make them feel guilty about their overindulging. "Wow, you're having onion rings? I used to eat them all the time until I put on an extra twenty pounds..."


7. You find that you're constantly giving yourself a pep talk. In fact, you hope that once you say certain statements enough times, they'll magically become true for you. "Oh, this salad is so delicious--I just love leafy green vegetables. I can eat them all day long..."


6. You have to report that there's been a horrible tragedy in the house. The scale, sadly, took its last breath and then jumped out the bathroom window. The intervention came too late.


5. You make sure to watch all your favorite TV shows AFTER they have been recorded. Who wants to see those stupid Outback Steak House and Wendy's commercials, when you can just fast-forward through them and get to your favorite program?


4. Going to the grocery store is your worst nightmare. Before your trip, you make sure to strategically map out your route to avoid the ENEMY a.k.a. junk food. You pretty much have a fool proof plan, but in case it backfires, and you are in enemy territory, you have an exit strategy.


3. You catch yourself trying awful recipes like "spinach brownies" and "apple sauce, carrot cupcakes" just to try and satisfy your "sweet tooth."


2. Friends and family complain that you're always, unconsciously, talking about food, staring, and salivating when you watch them eat.


1. You've never enjoyed math, and yet, every day, you find yourself struggling with the most confusing algebraic equations. If X = (230 calories) and Y = (10 grams of protein) then Z = the culmination of X and Y plus the saturated fat and trans fat minus the heart healthy soluble fiber.

Bonus:

You battle it out one morning with your skinny jeans. "Fit dammit. You should fit by now! Common, I know you can zip. ZIP! Stupid jeans! Stupid zipper! Common!" --I'll let you decide who wins...