Do you remember the days when you were a kid and time seemed to go by so slow? The school year, especially the ones in elementary school, seemed to drag on forever, and even summers, no matter how fun they were, seemed to last for an eternity. During the summer, if I didn't have a friend come over in the afternoon and there wasn't an activity planned, I used to drive my mom insane.
"What are you talking about? You have so many toys to play with and things to do," she'd reply.
"I've played with everything already, Mom. I don't know what to do....I'm soooo bored."
Okay, I'll spare you from the rest of the boring conversation. I laugh at the absurdity of this now because today, no matter how hard I try, I'm never bored. Okay, let me rephrase this...My goal is not to be bored. My goal is to make more time for myself to think, reflect, and be in the moment, especially when it comes to spending time with my Lil' Lewie. However, each time I try to make this into a concrete goal, I can't stop the nagging inner voice from inside my head that says something like this:
"Annette, you should probably take a few minutes to call Citibank. You know they overcharged you on your last bill. The interest rate was supposed to stay at 1.9%."
"You're running out of food in the fridge, Annette. It doesn't look like you have anything decent to make for tonight's dinner."
"Your poor students are waiting to get their papers back, Annette. Don't you think they deserve to have their grades by now?"
"Your CVS coupon for $10 off a $25 purchase is going to expire today if you don't use it. I think you need to make a quick stop."
The list of these nagging comments can go on forever, and yet, I don't know how to make it stop. The clock keeps ticking away, and I'm pressed with an endless "to-do" list and a guilty conscious that says I need to make the most of these precious days with Lil' Lewie because once they're gone, I can never get them back.
At the moment, my only solution is to reserve this special "savor the moment" time on the weekends but even then, my "to-do" list creeps into the picture like a dark shadow in a horror movie.
Today I am ever more conscious that I need to quell these nagging thoughts when they arise and learn to create a schedule that satisfies both my mommy time and my "to-do list" time. Do you struggle with the same day to day anxieties/worries? Have you found a perfect schedule that makes you satisfied on both ends? I'd love to hear your opinions...
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Annette, were you really up at 3am posting this?! If so, you better add sleep on your "to-do" list :) I struggle with this too and I can't seem to find a balance. I either neglect my chores or find I'm not appreciated the moment with Nate enough. When I'm faced with guilt, I just try to ask myself what I will remember one year or five from now - making memories with Nate or making a nutritious dinner :) I think we need assistants!
ReplyDeleteBalance can be so difficult as a mom! It's really difficult to get everything done in the day, and to not feel like you're running out of steam. I've found that picking 3 things to get done in one day helps me feel more in control. For example, I'll go to the grocery store, Target, and clean the bathrooms. And after those three chores are done, then the rest of the day is devoted to play with Georgia. If I didn't do this, we'd be in the car all day, every day, trying to get things done!
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ReplyDeleteI completely have this same dilemma. I work part time & spend a lot of time with my son, but not all of it is quality time. Even when I'm trying to spend my quality time, I find myself thinking over that to do list & wondering when I can get everything done (oh, and somehow how I can do more...) Finding the balance is difficult, but maybe making realistic goals for yourself each day, starting with those of most priority, would help?
catskillgreen.blotspot.com
Oh time...where in the world does it go? I struggle with this every single day. Some days are good, some not. I'm trying to be more organized. Good Luck Annette, you're not alone:)
ReplyDeleteWhat an insightful post! I've never thought about it before, but yes...as a child, I would often get bored (as does my daughter). As an adult, I've totally forgotten what it's like to be bored. I just don't experience it anymore (probably for the reasons you discuss). I do think we do manage to spend quality time with our kids! Even if it's letting them do their thing, then talking about it a bit afterward with them.
ReplyDeleteHey Annette, I remember those days of thinking the day would go on for hours. There is just so much to do in our lives. I wish we could take more time to breathe. I know about the CVS coupons expiring. That always hangs in my head. I hope you are doing well. I hope Aunty Sarah is doing better! Have a great night!
ReplyDeleteMama Hen
Thank you for your sweet comment Annette! Keep giving hugs and talkning with Aunty Sarah! I am happy she was smiling! Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteMama Hen
Wonderful post! I also struggle with balancing it all. Some days are better than others, however. Some days, I feel as though I have so much free time and am looking for more things to do. Other days, like today, I struggle with attending to all of my various responsibilities. It's stressful, but it helps to know that I am not alone in feeling this way.
ReplyDelete-Jessica
It seems like every year time goes by a little more quickly and that balance is so tough. Finding time to spend with my daughter, do my chore and errand, and still manage to relax and have a little "me" time is so tough. Like Amber I just try to ask myself what I will remember when she is grown and not wanting to spend time with dear old mom anymore. The clean and chores can wait, I know I can find something to eat for dinner even if it's ordering out, but those precious moments with Avery will be with me forever!
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